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How to Change Things When Change Is Hard
p.47 A particular strain of this "bad is stronger than good" bias is critical when it comes to tackling change. Let's call it a problem focus. To see it, consider the situation: Your child comes home one day with her report card. She got one A, four B's, and one F. Where will you spend your time as a parent? This hypothetical comes from author Marcus Buckingham, who says that nearly all parents will tend to fixate on the F. It's easy to empathize with them: Something seems broken - we should fix it. Let's get her a tutor. Or maybe she should be punished - she's grounded until that grade recovers. It is the rare parent who would say, instead, "Honey, you made an 'A' in this one class. You must really have a strength in this subject. How can we build on that?" (Buckingham has a fine series of books on making the most of your strengths rather than obsessing about your weaknesses.)