The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander

The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander

From Preschool to High School--how Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence

Book - 2004
Average Rating:
Rate this:

Practical solutions to a problem that may affect 80% of school children.

Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth and her wide experience with conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, bestselling parenting educator Barbara Coloroso offers a practical and compassionate book destined to become a groundbreaking guide to this escalating problem.

Coloroso helps readers recognize the characteristic triad of bullying: the bully who perpetrates the harm; the bullied who is the target (and who may become a bully); and the bystander--peers, siblings, or adults who don't act to defuse the situation. Readers learn:

o What bullying is and what it isn't; the three kinds of bullying; and the differences and similarities between boy and girl bullies

o How to read the subtle clues that a child is being bullied

o Seven steps to take if your child is a bully

o Four abilities that protect your child from succumbing to a bully

o Why zero tolerance policies can equal zero thinking

o Why contempt, not anger, drives bullying, and how to confront this in bullies.

o o Bullying is a widespread problem. In a 2001 study by the Kaiser Foundation in conjunction with Nickelodeon TV network and Children Now, 86% of children ages 12-15 interviewed said they get teased or bullied at school--making bullying more prevalent than smoking, alcohol, drugs, or sex among the same age group. Barbara Coloroso is an award wining author. Parenting Through Crisis and Kids Are Worth It each won a Parent's Guide Award 2001 from Parent's Guide to Children's Media.

Publisher: New York : HarperResource, [2004], c2003.
Edition: First HarperResource pbk. edition
ISBN: 9780060014308
Branch Call Number: 371.782 COLOROSO
Characteristics: xxii, 218 pages ; 21 cm.


From the critics

Community Activity


Add a Comment

Aug 04, 2016

Please Note: This is NOT the book that is pictured. It is the 2003 edition. The pictured version is the REVISED 2009 edition which addresses cyberbullying and more than 100 ways to protect your child.

Oct 16, 2014

This is a valuable book that any parent with a child in school should read. Written by a Canadian, it provides case studies from Canada, North America and many countries of the world. I found the last chapter, with its critique of zero tolerance policies in schools, particularly stimulating. Unfortunately, for obvious reasons there will never be controlled experiments regarding bullying and its treatment, so the book tends to be anecdotal. Do aboriginal healing circles really offer a superior way of dealing with bullying (see p.197-8) or is this just the flavour of the month? Ms. Coloroso's style is workmanlike and un pretentious but also somewhat humorless It would be interesting to see what a superior stylist like Kevin Williamson would do with the same material. The whole book is decidedly post-Christian. Although there are frequent references to Martin Luther King and Desmond Tutu, according to Ms. Coloroso churches and their clerics don't seem to have any role in dealing with bullies, the bullied and complicit bystanders.


Add Age Suitability

There are no ages for this title yet.


Add a Summary

There are no summaries for this title yet.


Add Notices

There are no notices for this title yet.


Add a Quote

There are no quotes for this title yet.

Explore Further

Browse by Call Number


Subject Headings


Find it at LPL

To Top